Those of you who are friends with my on Facebook, mostly, might have noticed that I didn’t change my last name after I got married. Today, I explain, mostly in video form, why I didn’t take my husband’s last name. I made a conscious choice to keep my name unchanged.
To Each Their Own!
First, let me be clear I respect any woman’s choice to take or not take their spouse’s last name. It should always be a choice, never forced, and as long as it was a choice then who cares what a woman does with her name after marriage.
Why Changing My Name Wasn’t “For Me”
For me, it feels to patriarchal and traditional for a woman to change her last name to a man’s. I’m not saying either of those are bad, but they’re just not “for me.”
Additionally, I generally do not adhere to traditions that exist simply for the sake of tradition or things that are simply “expected.” I like trying new things, making fresh experiences, and living a life with diverse plans and activities. In terms of changing my name, it felt like changing my name just because that’s what women do was not a good reason to do so.
I also simply did not want the fuss and stress of changing my name and then having to update every website, organization, etc. I am part of with my new info. I’ve done this so many times for change of addresses and phone numbers and I simply do not want to do it with an even more complex change.
Why Keeping My Name Hasn’t Mattered
I feel no less a family with my husband because he and I don’t share a last name. Changing my name would have no impact on our relationship. Sharing initials or a name with him wouldn’t alter the foundation of our relation so much as it would the paperwork in our lives.
Simply put, I feel no compelling reason to change it. Maybe I will several years down the road as an anniversary gift, but for now there is no monumental reason to do so. I am content with why I didn’t take my husband’s last name.